April 24, 2008
Posted by creatingadiva in Uncategorized.trackback
Scene: Walk back from class on the way to the car…
Hmm, well I’ve been thirsty all day and I forgot to grab a bottle of water…I’m gonna drop by the dining hall for a second…
Ooh water is soo refreshing…Oh I have to do well on the MCAT’s, this is my one chance to make it where I want to go…Dear god, are you hearing me?
OH did they just put out some cookies…I want 1/2 of one
Eh, 1/2 is never good enough..I’ll take the whole one…Oh my phone’s ringing…crap! I forgot to call that lady back…OH no, when did I grab that handful of nuts?
Oh these nuts are good…I want some more…I better go write down what I need to do in my planner — well first the nuts.
Wait, is that GARLIC bread!?? YUMMM! I’m gonna grab a piece…okay, write stuff down in planner.
Wait, call mom first to make sure she got that appointment fixed – - wait how many pieces of garlic bread did I just eat? Oh who cares, I want more!
Mmm I’m HUNGRY…and nothing looks good…oh wait that bread looks really good — I’m gonna make a sandwich.
Oh I have to remember to stop by the bank…why do I have only cheese on my sandwich…oh the spinach and lettuce look wilted and the veggies look stale. Oh well, scratch the sandwich — I’ll just grab a grilled cheese thats already been made.
Oh you know what goes great with grilled cheese D? Some fries..grab some of those.
Did I forget to turn off the straightening iron before I left my room? Oh crap I must have…you know that time that girl had to pay a ton of money b/c she burned down her room.
I don’t have a ton of money…I have to start looking for a job…did I remember to post my resume for that one job?
Oh I have to call financial aid before graduation. No I didn’t post my resume. Crap, DID I JUST EAT A FULL PLATE OF FRIES?! Okay this has got to stop…
But I really need something sweet…now I feel too full and gross…
Oh they just put some cheesecake out, I want a bite….No, I don’t want a bite, I want the whole thing, No I’ll just settle for some sweet tea.
Good job D…you stopped the cheesecake binge, but you just ate your weight in food otherwise.
Ooo are those watermelons, those are sweet! I’ll grab some of those and some water.
….Crap I have 3 plates, 2 bowls and 2 cups sitting at my table! I look crazy…what did I eat again? Oh crap, its 3pm…I have to be at work in 30 mins…what DID I just eat all that for!? I feel disgusting.
Oh crap, i forgot to take pictures…
Am I going to be able to carry all those dishes to the conveyer belt without dropping them?? I swear the watermelon slicing lady is judging me.
Oh crap, I just spilled water on myself! Damn phone calls!…
I need to blog about this.
See, its days like this that remind me how far I’ve come but how FAR I have left to go. They remind me that I am far from perfect, that my issues with food are VERY deep seated and sometimes my issues with food seem insurmountable. But then I remind myself that these sort of days are now happening far and few in between and for now, thats a few steps broken into a marathon trail…so instead of crawling into a hole of guilt and self disgust, I commend my body and soul for the times it has fought back and crawled its way back to sanity. And that for now, is the best thing I can do for myself.
It is a process- and we are both on our way! LOL- your day sounds just like mine!
“Oooh,, lots of work to do.. wait! how did I finish that box of crackers!? uh-oh.”
Tomorrow is a new day! =)
it is such a process.
for me it’s the SUGAR LOVER who comes out when I am feeding my daughter, well, sugar (in the form of fruit gummies but still…) and when she doesnt finish food NOT finishing it for her and ‘forgetting’ the calories.
Awww, we all have those days, just remember that tomorrow is another day!
I’ve had days like that too.
sounds like you have a ton of things going on in life! no wonder your poor mind is racing in a million directions.